10/13/2013

not saying no

It's nights like this I fucking hate you.

Nights like this I feel violated. Feeling like my body isn't my own.

Nights like this I hate myself for not saying no. For being silent. For being here at all.

When the unthinkable seems reasonable. 

Maybe it's punishment for my sins. It kind of feels that way. I am good at self loathing and self-punishment. Some people have scars upon their soul, my scars 

It's nights like this I fucking hate myself.

i don't think i've loved anyone for a long time. not even myself.